


Mistletoe and Countdowns

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Jared, M/M, Protective Jensen, Schmoop, Top Jensen Ackles, early seasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Innocent teasing and joking turns into something more under a sprig of mistletoe but a misunderstanding sends Jensen and Jared apart for Christmas only to discover the mistakes both were thinking as it's more than a New Year counting down but also the start of something new between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language, explicit content, the usual for this type of story. I don't think it needs too many warnings.
> 
> Beta: Cappy712
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
> 
> Author note: So this was just supposed to be a short 1 chapter fic but as this is me and nothing can be short it turned into a short 2-chapter story.

**Mistletoe and Countdowns**

**Chapter One**

It started harmlessly before Christmas. They’d been teasing one another for months since filming season two started and little fan stuff began to pop up on the internet about something in the fandom world of fiction.

At first Jared had been embarrassed to tell Jensen about it since as far as Jared Padalecki knew his too hot co-star, roommate, best friend, and the guy who played his TV older brother was as straight as the tough and no-nonsense character Jensen Ackles played on Supernatural.

The first time Jensen had gotten a peek at what their fans called Wincest Jared had thought his friend’s eyes were going to turn inside out, then he’d walked away and there was an unusual tension between them for a couple days. A tension that had definitely told Jared to keep his mouth shut about a couple things that had also cropped up between them or at least the younger man had thought it had. Now he knew it was just his own stupid imagination putting those thoughts about Jensen in his head.

They shared a house since it was easier than both of them renting one in Vancouver. It was also easier on their bodyguard/driver to just pick them both up at one place so there hadn’t been any issues there.

From the first time they met the two actors had discovered that while they were totally different in likes and personality they did have a few things in common that made living together easier. Or it was until the first time Jared saw Jensen come out of the shower when he hadn’t been expecting him to be home from his morning run that early.

Jared had blushed for a week after that and he’d also worked damn hard to not let Jensen find out how seeing him naked had affected him after that except he started to suspect his co-star had a hunch when Jensen began to make odd little comments or teasing gestures or when those moments of catching one another either coming out of the shower or in the middle of dressing happened a couple more times.

By the time the Wincest thing came up Jared was sure of two things and on the fence about another. He was totally sure Jensen was straight despite a couple rumors he’d heard floating around Vancouver that had been started by a couple of Jensen’s former Smallville co-stars. He was also very certain that despite Jensen playfully saying in an interview before the show started that he couldn’t play Jared’s brother because Jared was hot, that it was in fact the other way around and that Jensen was the hot one of their duo.

The thing that Jared was on the fence over was slightly more complicated given the line of work he was in and how if it ever got out that it would ruin not only the show but his friendship was that he was half certain he was falling in love with his co-star; his very straight and totally hot co-star.

Jared worked to ignore it and tell himself he’d been in Canada too long. He was sure when they broke for the first summer break…if they got renewed for a second season that by the time he and Jensen saw one another again that he’d be over what his brother had teasingly called his crush on his co-star. It was quickly plain to the 6’4” Texan that the moment he stepped back on the set and Jensen smiled at him that he was in so much trouble.

By the time the holidays got closer Jared was more certain that he wasn’t as straight as he’d always sworn he was but that Jensen was he worked damn hard to laugh off any comments aimed by cast, crew or even casual friends about them.

It got harder the weekend that Welling and Rosenbaum showed up for a visit and Jensen got a few too many beers in him or more than Jared had ever seen him drink before so that his tongue was looser than usual as well.

“Ackles! Now it all makes sense,” Michael Rosenbaum was saying as he straddled a chair in the kitchen.

“What makes sense?” Jensen asked, batting a hand away from the pile of chips in front of him since somehow he’d been talked into playing poker with his two former co-stars and he’d roped Jared into the game just because he wanted to.

“Why you chose to leave our show to go to your little rinky dinky ghost and monster hunting one that will never outlast Smallville,” Mike replied as he squinted at his cards and then glanced over at Tom who was clearly fighting his own smile as they both shot looks toward Jared. “You never said the kid you were co-starring with was a Greek God in the making or that he was this hot.”

Jared had just taken a sip of beer when he nearly choked at the comment while his eyes went to saucers; coughing as Jensen hit him on the back a few times.

“Yeah, I did say Jared was hot and stop ogling him before you out your damn self, jackass,” Jensen growled in a tone that was pure Dean in protective mode. “Besides, I didn’t leave Smallville just cause my co-star is ridiculously hot. It was a better deal…and yeah, our show will outlast your puny Superman before he was Superman show…dick.”

Struggling to control the blush that wanted to spread over his face at how the conversation had veered, Jared started to excuse himself before anything more could be said that might embarrass Jensen or shock Jared since the last thing he expected to come out of the guy who plays a young Lex Luthor was what came next.

“So you have zero interest in kissing or fucking your TV little brother, Ackles?” Mike smirked while eyeing Jared a bit more carefully. He started to open his mouth with a smirk when suddenly he was yanked halfway across the table with Jensen’s fist wrapped in his shirt.

“Right now I have a definite interest in putting my fist through your smug face and if you don’t leave him alone or you hit on him then Lex Luthor is going to be sporting one helluva busted up face when you show back up on set,” Jensen snarled, no trace of the half buzzed friendly man that had just been sitting there left.

Jared was stunned at the change and the reaction to what he thought was some harmless drunk teasing until he watched Tom literally have to wedge himself between the two men to break them up.

“Jensen, let Mike go. He’s harmless since it’s pretty clear you’ve staked a claim whether you realize it or the kid realizes it yet or not,” Tom grunted as he finally got Mike and Jensen apart with a blown out breath of frustration.

“Staked a claim on what?” Jared asked before he could think, frowning when three sets of eyes looked at him. “On me? Who? Jensen?” he frowned more when none of the other men spoke but suddenly Jared felt hot and he swore his shirt collar was starting to strangle him. “No way! Jensen’s straight, dude.”

“Yeah, as straight as half of Hollywood is,” Mike snorted, yelling when a fist landed in his shoulder while Tom rammed an elbow into his gut when he suddenly was torn between laughing and snorting while shooting his former Smallville co-star a look of shock. “You live with him and he thinks you’re…”

The moment Jensen’s eyes went to hot slits and he straightened to his full height was when Tom decided it had gotten late and they needed to go.

Jensen fought back the urge to slam the door on his still laughing friends. “I’m past buzzed and Rosenbaum was drunk so just forget everything those losers said, Jared,” he declared while turning to find Jared standing in the door to the living room…under the ball of mistletoe that Jared had hung because he said it was a tradition in his mother’s house to always hang one.

“Why’d you get angry with what he said then?” Jared asked quietly, noticing the way Jensen’s eyes drifted up so he looked up to frown at the mistletoe. “Ummm.”

“Y’know, my Mom has a couple traditions she taught her kids too,” Jensen began quietly, blaming the amount of liquor and his temper at the damn ideas that were suddenly kicking around in his head and for what he suddenly wanted to do. “You have about five seconds to move before I show you what one of those is.”

Jared’s heart was in his throat but he stayed still, not really believing that anything would happen. He believed that until the second Jensen took two steps that put him directly in front of Jared and long fingers reached up to lightly push back the hair that had fallen into wide eyes.

A look showed the younger actor that while he smelled beer Jensen didn’t look drunk or drunk enough to not know what he was doing when those fingers slid around to the back of his neck.

“Mistletoe in my house meant kisses,” Jensen murmured while pausing as if debating this action and suddenly his lips were on Jared’s in a kiss that wasn’t soft but wasn’t hard or demanding either. It was just enough heat to sear Jared’s shocked brain out of his stupor as it clicked that he was being kissed.

In the short time the kiss lasted all Jared’s stunned thoughts could process was that he was being kissed by a guy, a really hot guy that happened to be his co-star. His really hot straight co-star was kissing him in a way that screamed that this was not Jensen’s first time kissing a guy because drunk or not there was no awkwardness in this kiss, just low burning heat that suddenly had Jared wanting more but was at a loss to how to get it.

“Jen…” he whispered into the kiss and knew he’d screwed up the moment he felt Jensen tense then swear under his breath as he jerked away from Jared like he’d been burned. “Jensen, wait…I…”

“Go to bed, Jay,” Jensen’s voice was deep, raw and he refused to look Jared in the eye as he turned to go to the kitchen. “Just…I’m sorry. Too much beer and too many assholes; that never should’ve happened. I’m sorry and I hope…I hope you know that it was the liquor talking.”

As Jensen disappeared into the kitchen, Jared slumped back against the wall to frown and also to try to hide both his hurt and disappointment that it had been the beer and emotion talking; that it hadn’t been as real for Jensen as it had been for him because Jared didn’t regret the small kiss in the slightest.

The next day was tense and awkward for them both since Jensen woke up with a headache and was growling at people on set and Jared wasn’t sure what to say or do to either try to reassure Jensen that he got it that he wasn’t interested in him or to sweep it under the rug.

It took a few days and a stern lecture by Eric Kripke to get back on the same page before things slowly began to get back to normal.

They filmed their scenes, hung out together again and soon Jared was just happy that he had his best friend back; the friend that would play X-Box with him in his trailer and tease him about his love of candy. It was only when Jared was alone that he would think of the feel of Jensen’s lips on his and wondered what they’d feel like if his friend had really wanted to kiss him or if Jensen would ever look at him like Jared was looking at him more and more.

It was shortly before the break for the holidays that everything Jared thought he knew about himself and about Jensen was tossed into the air.

They’d gone out to a local bar in Vancouver with some of the cast and crew. It was just supposed to be a casual thing. They’d played pool, shot darts, drank a few beers since Clif was driving them home and then taking Jensen to the airport for his flight home to Texas, which was a few days ahead of when Jared was due to head out.

Everything was going along great until he happened to look around for Jensen when he realized he hadn’t seen his friend in a good long time since Jared had gotten into a game of pool with one of their camera guys.

“Hey, have you seen Jensen?” he asked as he moved through crowd and was told people had spotted his co-star going outside with someone he seemed to have known.

Jared normally wouldn’t have pried or considered checking up on Jensen but since his friend had been getting some really weird mail lately from fans he was worried so he pushed out the door to look both ways before taking a step and feeling like he’d been punched in the gut.

Of all the things Jared’s mind could’ve conjured to see when he stuck his head around the corner of the bar to peer into an alley, finding Jensen…his Jensen, his totally straight and uninterested in him Jensen, locking lips with some dark haired guy about his height and build was not it.

Jared honestly didn’t recall much of what happened after that. He was pretty sure his eyes bugged out and he thought he might’ve made some noise because something happened to cause Jensen’s head up, their eyes locking for one heart stopping moment and that was all Jared remembered.

He didn’t recall how he made it home because he knew it hadn’t been by Clif because he’d bolted even as Jensen was shouting his name but right then the hurt and shock was too huge. All Jared wanted was to be alone, to try to work his brain around what he’d seen and why the hell he felt so hurt and betrayed when what Jensen did in his private life, outside of the show, and outside their friendship was none of Jared’s business.

Jared knew what time Jensen’s flight was due to leave. He thought he’d hit a few other bars that night before he finally took a cab home once he was certain he’d miss Jensen. Jared hated to not see his friend but he was still too confused to be able to see Jensen much less talk to him when there wasn’t anything to talk about he guessed.

He was mentally cussing his own stupidity and dreams as he went to put his key in the lock only to stumble forward when the front door was suddenly yanked open and he was jerked into the house by strong hands gripping his arms.

“Where the hell have you been all goddamn night?”

The sudden deep exasperated voice had Jared’s heavy eyes snapping open to find searing green ones staring at him as Jensen gave the door a slam with his foot. “Huh?”

“Clif and I looked half the night for you and then he still looked after he brought me back here in hopes that you’d come back home. Where the hell were you, Jared?” Jensen’s tone was mixed with anger and worry as well as exhaustion since he hadn’t slept all night as he paced the house waiting for either the door to open or a phone call from someone.

“You…you missed your flight,” Jared’s brain wasn’t functioning at all then. He hadn’t allowed himself to think that Jensen would still be here so now that he was confronted by his pissed off co-star and Jensen actually looked and sounded concerned as well as pissed off he wasn’t sure what to say or do. “You were due to fly out this morning.”

Jensen stared at him before frowning slightly but did slowly relax his grip. “Did you stay gone to avoid seeing me, Jay?” he asked quietly, good at hiding his emotions after years of acting so the sudden hurt at that didn’t show. “I rescheduled my flight because I was freaked out about you taking off like you did. Damn it, Jared. You didn’t have to run like that and we need to talk about some stuff.”

“No, no we don’t need to talk about anything,” Jared wasn’t ready to talk to Jensen about what he’d seen or anything that went with it. “I need to take a shower and fall into bed and you need to be on a flight home so your Mom doesn’t call and yell at us like she did the last time you missed your flight,” he went to move only to frown when he was shoved back against the wall. “Jensen…”

“If something upset you enough that you’d run from me and stay out all night then we need to talk about it and I’ll cancel my whole goddamn trip home if that’s what it takes,” Jensen shot back tightly, emotions high but he still struggled for control so he didn’t make this much worse than it already was.

The last damn thing Jensen had been expecting last night was a former friend from his days in LA to be in Vancouver on a layover and see him. He also wasn’t expecting the guy to get all hands on when he asked to speak to him in the alley outside the bar but since Jensen wasn’t sure how the conversation might go and he didn’t want to make a scene he’d agreed.

He’d been taken off guard when Brett kissed him and had just been getting over the shock to shove him away when he heard a sound and looked into the shocked and hurt eyes of someone that Jensen had been fighting for well over a year to keep from revealing his one huge secret to because it would have been all too easy for him to fall in love with his co-star if he wasn’t careful.

The kiss under the mistletoe hadn’t been a drunken mistake despite what he’d tried to tell both himself and Jared but it had made Jensen more aware than ever that he had to make damn certain to keep away from his friend if he didn’t want to risk blowing what they had.

Jared was a typical Texas boy in Jensen’s mind which meant he was straight as hell and while Jensen hadn’t been fully straight since his soap opera days he wasn’t about to confuse Jared any more than Rosenbaum and Welling had the other night.

The kiss had been spur of the moment and Jensen hadn’t allowed himself to consider or ask how Jared had felt about it. He’d just ignored it or tried to ignore it but it was hard when his roommate and friend was as physical as Jared tended to be and the urge to test out a theory was getting harder to ignore; especially right then considering he had Jared pinned back against the wall in the hall and soft plush looking lips were a little too close for comfort.

Jensen stepped back hesitantly but knew if he didn’t they’d have a repeat of the other night and right then it was important for Jensen to try to get them back on a level playing field. “Dude, what you saw last night…”

“Look, it’s none of my business what you do or who you do it with,” Jared didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to let it show how hurt it was that Jensen hadn’t wanted to talk about the kiss between them but did want to talk about what he’d stumbled onto last night. “I get it…okay I don’t get it but either way…it’s cool.”

“It’s cool?” Jensen’s eyebrow lifted curiously because something in Jared’s tone as well as the way he suddenly wouldn’t look at him or how he was chewing his lip said it wasn’t. “It’s cool that you think you saw me kissing some dude?”

“I know what I saw but what’s cool is I get it that maybe you’re not as straight as I thought you were but that there’s still something wrong with me that you didn’t like it the other night when you kissed me or maybe it’s just me in general that’s not good enough to kiss and…shit!” Jared realized with some horror that he was rambling and managed to push a stunned Jensen back a step so he could start for the steps. “Look, I’m sorry. I swear that whatever this is…or was or whatever the hell is wrong with me I’ll have it fixed or I’ll never bring it up when you get back after New Year’s or…something. I…my brother was right and maybe it is a crush but I fully accept that I am so not your type…if you had a type of guy that…oh God!” he groaned and bolted up the steps to his room to shut and lock the door with a muffled ‘Merry Christmas and Happy New Year’ shouted back.

“Huh,” Jensen leaned against the doorway in stunned silence. Of all the things he expected to come out of Jared’s mouth none of that was even close. Hearing his friend be more upset that he might not be good enough to be kissed or something instead of the anger or shock that Jensen might be into guys a little shocked him; it also left him feeling a little unsure to what to do. “Damn it,” he groaned, hitting his head off the door as it hit him how sad and unsure Jared had seemed after the kiss the other night and realized he’d hurt Jared more by refusing to acknowledge the act than the actual kiss itself had.

The older actor wanted to try to straighten this out right then but he knew Jared was too emotional and tired and probably a little drunk to talk too seriously and he did have a flight to catch; actually they both had flights to catch as he saw the text from Clif reminding him of that fact.

Jensen doubted if Jared would come out of his room before he had to leave since he did know if he didn’t show up in Texas that Donna Ackles would be on the phone or in Canada. He made sure there was coffee as well as food fixed and left a note next to the coffee pot for Jared to see.

“‘ _Jay, I have to go but I will get this fixed with you before we start shooting again. I think we need to talk because I think we’ve both been thinking stuff that isn’t true about the other and…my hope to protect you or keep something from you might have done more damage. This isn’t something I can explain in a brief note so I hope if I call or text you’ll pick up because hurting you or making you think that you’re not good enough to kiss is so not the case, dude. Have a safe trip home and…I’ll see or talk to you soon. Jensen_.’”

Jared had read the note when he finally stumbled down to the kitchen several hours later to find the house empty and unusually cold. He hoped that wasn’t a sign of things to come as he barely had time to stuff some clothes in a bag before Clif was blowing the horn.

He took the accepted lecture from their bodyguard silently and only cringed when the man told him how worried and upset Jensen had been over him.

Jared promised to talk with Jensen over the break and then promised never to disappear all night again when Clif stuck him on the phone with his and Jensen’s gruff speaking TV Dad who had found out somehow what he’d done.

“You and Jensen are more than best friends, kiddo. Whatever this is about, you’ll be able to smooth it over if you just give Jensen a chance to talk to you about it and listen to him, Jared,” Jeffrey Dean Morgan said from the phone while Jared was waiting for his flight. “I’m due back in Vancouver to audition for a role after the break sometime so this better be sorted out or I’m banging both your damn stubborn heads together. I swear if I have to call Samantha you two will not be happy.”

Jared totally agreed with that and promised that he and Jensen would be fine, that it was just a rare issue between them and as he traveled home he hoped it would be that simple.

Back home for Christmas, Jared tried to be happy. He tried to not let on how worried he was that he might’ve lost one the best friendships he’d ever had in his life but it was hard when his brother kept teasing him and his little sister kept asking questions about what it was like to film with Jensen and such.

“Do you plan to talk to me or your Dad about what’s bothering you or just brood about it?” his mother asked one morning when she found her middle child staring into a cup of coffee with his phone in his hand. “Did you and Jensen fight or is it something else?”

“No, we didn’t fight,” he mumbled and then looked up. “What makes you think Jensen and I had a fight?” he asked.

“Because Donna said Jensen was moody and snappish too since he got home so it makes sense if you’re both moody and brooding that you had a fight or something happened,” she replied with a mother’s smile. “What? You think we don’t keep in touch? How else do mother’s stay sane without other mother’s to talk to when their sons are being hardheaded about something?”

Learning that his Mom had been talking to Jensen’s Mom didn’t surprise Jared but he wasn’t certain what to say until he finally just spilled the whole story and then waited to see what her response would be.

“I think you need to talk to Jensen and see how he really feels,” Shelly replied while rolling out dough for her cookies. “You know your father and I will accept any choice you make so long as it’s something that makes you happy but it sounds like both of you boys have been too quick to judge the other on what you might or might not be.”

“Mom, I just told you that I think I might be in love with my co-star,” Jared wasn’t sure how to react to this one as he’d been expecting a bit more shock from his mother.

“Jared, your brother might have been teasing you about having a crush on Jensen but I’m your mother and I could tell just by the way you are around him or how you look at him that you’re in love with him,” she told him while smacking his hand away from an already iced cookie. “Now I think you need to find out how he feels so you’ll know for sure what to do.”

That advice made sense but it scared Jared to think of trying to broach that topic with his friend. Right then he was willing to make himself ignore the building feelings and hurt from before if it could mean still being friends. He decided to talk to Jensen right before they were supposed to go back to filming because their relationship off screen directly affected the one they showed on screen and Jared would do nothing to damage Sam and Dean.

He survived Christmas but only barely. He managed to get out of the blind date his well-meaning aunt had set up by claiming he’d been invited to a New Year’s Eve party at a friend’s house because the last thing Jared wanted was to sit through a party with some girl he didn’t know and then get stuck with the expected New Year’s Eve kiss. There was only one person he seriously wanted to kiss and had to face learning how to ignore that desire.

He had been invited to a New Year’s party in LA by Eric Kripke and since it was for the show and he knew some of the crew might be there as well as network people Jared decided to pack early, go to LA and then make an early return to Vancouver after New Year’s Day.

The party was being held in some swanky LA hotel so Jared had booked a room there to save time and so he didn’t have to try to drive in case he did drink, which he rarely did at parties but since he still wasn’t feeling his usual happy self he wasn’t taking any chances.

Several of the network and crew attended the party so Jared was able to distract himself for a few hours. He subtly avoided the usual question of where his other half was by just smiling and saying Jensen was with his family.

There were a couple female guests that were a little too forward and while Jared’s home grown Texas manners prevented him from being rude he was, by the time it was almost midnight, getting tired of being groped and leered at by more than just a few women.

He’d been at the bar drinking a sparkling water since he’d never developed a taste for champagne and the wine was giving him a headache when he gritted his teeth as a large hand was dropped on his knee.

“I noticed you’ve been by yourself all night and shrugging off those pretty little girls that have been throwing themselves at you,” the voice was deep, masculine and very definitely drunk; all three turned Jared off. “I happen to have a room upstairs where we can bring in the New Year in our own way, hotstuff.”

The one thing that had always bothered Jared about the career he’d chosen was the unwanted advances, especially by those higher up and those who expected him to welcome the come-ons and advances. He’d learned early on how to handle himself when confronted by that type of thing but his alarm bells were telling him that this guy wasn’t going to be put off easily and the last thing he wanted was to cause a scene that might hurt the show.

He was about to fake a smile and refuse when the guy’s hand slide a little higher up his thigh and made a move toward his crotch when suddenly before Jared could react the offending hand was jerked away from him and the man himself was pushed off the stool when a very familiar body stepped between them and a very welcome voice was heard growling in pure Dean Winchester tone.

“Back the hell off,” Jensen Ackles had debated with himself for days about coming to the party in LA. It hadn’t been until his mother helpfully informed him that Jared had decided to attend that he’d tossed his clothes in his luggage and went to LA.

Jensen had talked to his parents about what had been happening and since they’d known for years that he wasn’t quite straight so it didn’t shock them to learn that he had feelings for his handsome, big eyed co-star. It had surprised them that Jensen hadn’t noticed before how Jared appeared to look at him and his mother suggested with a slap to the head that he’d better get his head out of his ass and talk to that sweet boy.

Arriving late hadn’t been planned but between plane delays and then traffic Jensen was just glad he arrived before midnight hit. He stepped into the crowded ballroom to see people he knew, some he didn’t but there was just one person he was seriously looking for and he felt something spark inside him the second he located Jared and saw the expression on his face.

Jared wasn’t as good at hiding his emotions or feelings as Jensen was but he was better than he was currently portraying so that sent up a signal. The moment Jensen caught the weary disgust and dislike over the guy sitting next to him turn to a quick flash of fear then Jensen was across the room in time to see where the big hand was heading and grabbed it.

The moment he spoke he felt Jared relax somewhat but his focus was on the drunk in front of him; the drunk guy with too quick of hands and an attitude.

“Back off,” Jensen repeated in a much different tone while locking eyes with the man as if in silent warning.

The guy looked like he might argue but something in the hard green eyes glaring at him said this one might not be worth the trouble so with a grumble and a glare he grabbed his drink and went to find easier fun.

“Thanks,” Jared murmured once he found his voice, reaching to take a drink of water to wet his mouth only to see his hand was shaking.

“C’mon, let’s get some air or something,” Jensen had caught the shaking hand and wanted Jared out of the crowded room. “He do anything that requires me bloodying his face or was he just starting?” he asked while tossing a wave to their producer as he led Jared into a smaller ballroom and outside to a small balcony that was currently empty.

“Nah, just starting but…” Jared was good at deflecting drunks and come-ons but he wasn’t so good with their sudden touches. “He creeped me out from the start,” he admitted, sitting down slowly to take a slow breath before looking up and wondering if he’d ever stop being affected by Jensen as he saw the trimmed cut well-fitting slacks, crisp white shirt that was open at the throat and a tie that could be seen stuffed in a pocket. “Umm, Eric wasn’t sure if you were going to make it or not. Kinda glad you did.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of glad I did too,” Jensen returned, starting to pull another chair over to sit in when he changed his mind and gave a gentle nudge to Jared’s shoulder as he sat beside him on the chaise like chair. “Are you okay Jared?” he asked.

Jared wondered if Jensen was asking about the drunk or how they’d left things so he wasn’t sure how to respond for a second. Then he took another deep slow breath and just let what came out of his mouth come out. “Now that you’re here I am.”

There were so many things Jensen wanted to try to say but wasn’t sure where to start or how to start. He heard the countdown start and had a brief mental debate with himself until he glanced over to see Jared nervously chewing his bottom lip and groaned softly.

“I know we need to talk. I know I’ve confused you and probably hurt you but…” he paused while turning to lift a hand up to touch Jared’s face and saw the slight change in those big hazel eyes. “When that countdown hits zero I’m probably going to kiss you unless you can tell me right now you don’t want that until we’ve talked,” Jensen raised an eyebrow curiously. “What do you want, Jay?”

Torn between talking this out so they were both on the same page and being kissed by Jensen again, Jared blinked before going with his heart. “Kiss me?” he murmured softly, figuring he was probably blushing since despite a few experiments before and that one kiss up in Vancouver Jared really had no idea what he was doing but was determined to go with it.

“Gladly,” Jensen returned then moved his other hand up to gently curve his fingers around the back of Jared’s neck. He could tell his friend was nervous so he gave a small smile as they heard the numbers getting smaller. “Happy New Year, Jared,” he whispered the second the countdown to the new year reached zero and noise and lights began going off from within the ballroom and outside in the city but for Jensen the only thing he was focused on was the taste and touch of soft lips under his when he slowly, gently kissed Jared.

This time when he kissed him Jensen made sure to go slow, to allow Jared the time to experience the kiss for what it hopefully was and he also hoped enjoy it. He kept the heat out despite the sudden need to deepen it but he held still until after a heart stopping moment he felt Jared return the gesture slowly, hesitantly; an act that told Jensen he still might have a shot at fixing the mess he’d made in Canada.

It was a brief kiss but it seemed to last forever to Jared who found himself getting lost in the slow soft kiss; a kiss that was so much more intense than the other one had been but also more like what he thought a first kiss should be like…if he had ever wondered what a kiss with another guy would’ve been like.

When Jensen slowly pulled back enough to break the kiss Jared could still feel the touch of lips on his and taste Jensen almost but he was afraid to open his eyes to see if maybe his friend was disappointed by his return kiss or even worse it wasn’t any good at all or…

“You’re thinking too much, y’know that?” Jensen chuckled softly, warm breath blowing over Jared’s face as lips brushed over his cheek. “Look at me and tell me what you’re thinking, Jared,” he encouraged, suspecting what it was but needing to be sure before he did anything else.

“If that was good for you or if I…y’know…don’t know how to kiss you back good enough,” Jared mumbled but did finally lift his eyes up to see humor in Jensen’s eyes as well as something else; something he wasn’t quite sure how to define. “Jensen?”

“You kissed me back just fine, Jared,” Jensen thought that would be one thing on Jared’s mind as he’d felt his uncertainty during the kiss as well as a shyness that was pure Jared. “You not kissing right or not being good enough to kiss had nothing to do with anything up in Vancouver,” he began slowly, trying to go slow but figured out that wasn’t going to be easy when nervous fingers curled into the front of his shirt as the sounds of celebrating began to get louder and more distracting. “Come with me?”

Jared nodded, willing to follow Jensen anywhere right then but understanding why it would be better to find someplace more private to talk. “I…I have a room we can talk in…if that’s not too cliché?” he said, fingers gripping the ones that slid into his hand to pull him to his feet.

“Dude, we share a house and usually end up sharing a bathroom if we’re running lines in the morning so I think I can handle that,” Jensen laughed as he and Jared slipped out of the crowd and into the elevator to head for the floor that was also where Jensen had booked a room but he didn’t see the point in saying that just then.

Jared hoped he didn’t appear too nervous or unsure as he slid his keycard down to unlock the door, pushing it open so Jensen could enter first. “I think the room comes with champagne or stuff for ringing in the New Year if you want any,” he was saying while turning to close the door and slip out of the jacket he’d put on to look more presentable only to find his jacket being pulled from his fingers and his back bumping into the door as lips caught his in a slightly deeper kiss this time. “Or not,” he mumbled between kisses, forgetting his nerves and fears for the moment and just giving control over to Jensen.

“No, no drinking since I want to be sure I’m clear headed and that you’re clear headed for this,” Jensen replied after breaking the kiss that he gave into the urge to do. He knew Jared had been drinking a little but could tell he was more nervous and scared than drunk so he made himself slow down and take a few steps back. “Before I kiss you again…if you want me to that is, we seriously need to talk about a couple things like what you said back in Vancouver that day.”

“Can we just skip that and go back to kissing?” Jared wasn’t sure he wanted to talk if it might mean opening his mouth and screwing this up. “Okay, I know, I know. Talk first and…then…”

Jensen laughed and tugged him over to the sofa to sit down. “I love how one tracked minded you can be at times,” he felt more at ease since Jared wasn’t shutting him down and because Jared had kissed back which helped to relieve one of his worries. “So as you’ve probably noticed or figured out I am not as straight as I try to make out to be in public,” he began slowly, needing to handle this correctly since he had a hunch how Jared’s brain worked and wanting to make sure he understood things correctly. “I haven’t been since my time on Days.”

“So…what Tom and Mike were saying…” Jared was still surprised since he never would’ve thought anything else and he’d seen Jensen dating so this was a shock. “Wait, I’ve seen you on dates with girls so…”

“I said I’m not exactly straight, Jared. That doesn’t mean I don’t like women because I do but there are also times if I find an attractive guy who likes me and isn’t an asshole that I might go that direction too,” Jensen loved the way Jared’s face was so open as he worked that over in his mind. “I haven’t actually dated a man since my time on Dark Angel and he turned out to be an asshole…the very same asshole that caused you to run from me the other night and that’s another thing I want to talk to you about.

“Brett took me by surprise when he showed up that night because I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since we broke up…badly. I didn’t want a scene in the bar or with the crew so that’s why I went outside with him when he said he wanted to talk. I wasn’t expecting him to pull me into that alley or kiss me. You came out just as I was trying to push him away,” he said and saw the moment it began to click with his friend what he was saying. “You missed me laying his arrogant ass out after he tried to grab me when I went to run after you. He kissed me, Jay. Not the other way around.”

Jared blinked and thought back to what he’d actually seen that night now that he was calmer and realized that he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion and also how stupid he’d been in that he’d left Jensen in a possibly dangerous situation.

“I…I…” he tried to think of what he wanted to say while not sounding as stupid as he felt. “I was still…kind of hurt from the other night when you’d kissed me but then acted like it was nothing. I wasn’t sure if it was something about me or something else that made you not want to kiss me so when I went out and saw him…” Jared suddenly thought of how the guy’s hand had been on Jensen’s arm and neck. “Wait. Did …did he hurt you? Did…damn it! He could’ve hurt you and I was so stupidly jealous and hurt that I left you without even…”

“Jay, stop and breathe,” Jensen reached out to catch Jared’s hands to keep him on the sofa when he got agitated at what he thought might’ve happened. “Brett’s an ass and a heavy handed one at that but it shocked him when I punched him because I’m not the same guy I was when I dated him. He took off in a huff right after that and…when he got a look at Clif who was ranting about you running off. Jealous?” he suddenly said. “Jealous of him?”

“Jealous of anyone that you would want to kiss actually,” Jared admitted while calming back down and slowly realizing they were actually talking about this. “I thought there might be something wrong with me or…I don’t know…I wasn’t good enough or…”

Jensen’s hands slipped up to cradle Jared’s face between his palms. “You not being good enough to kiss had nothing to do with my reaction or why I tried to blow it off,” he told him softly, thumbs gently brushing over Jared’s cheeks. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react if you knew I wasn’t straight or…if you found out how hard it was sometimes for me not to kiss you. After I kissed you that night? The reason I was growling the next few days? Every time you got close to me I could remember that kiss and I wanted to kiss you again. I want to do a lot more than kiss you, Jared and that’s why right now I need to back off because if I don’t we might be testing just how straight you are.”

“Oh…umm…would now be a good time to tell you something?” Jared’s brain was melting from being this close to Jensen; learning that his friend might actually want him in a more than friendship way was finishing to melt it.

“Depends on what it is,” Jensen replied but nodded, telling himself he needed to back away and give Jared time to process this but unable to as Jared’s tongue slipped out to lick his lips and it took all of Jensen’s strength not to give in to the urge to catch that bottom lip between his teeth and suck on it.

“I’ve wanted you to kiss me or vice versa since season one and I don’t think I’d be against to doing…more if you don’t mind telling me how to do it,” Jared blushed at that admission, rushing along. “I mean, in high school a guy kissed me but it wasn’t as good as you did and then when I did House of Wax I got drunk one night and I think I fooled around with a guy or Paris said I did but…huh?” he blinked when a finger touched his lips.

“I really do not want to hear even hints of stuff you might’ve done while playing with Paris Hilton, Jay,” Jensen had known he never should’ve let Jared film that movie the moment he found out that girl was part of the cast. “As for me showing you or telling you what to do? Yeah, I think I can do that…when we’ve gotten to know one another more,” he smiled at the slight pout that earned him. “Jay, I didn’t say we were done for tonight. I just don’t want to take you all the way the first night that I’ve kissed you. What I hope to build here with you? I plan to take my time, let you adjust to me as more than your friend and co-star and one day when you’re comfortable with the thought then show you how to make love with me.”

Those images had rocked Jared’s brain the rest of the way out only to finally blink in confusion. “What…what are you saying?” he asked warily while struggling not to overthink too much.

“I love you, Jared,” Jensen hadn’t planned to say that this soon but he also didn’t think he could wait either. Now he just had to hope Jared was ready to hear those words from him. He was thinking of something light to say as a follow up when suddenly Jensen found his arms filled with his laughing co-star and he caught a glimpse of dimples as Jared smiled at him. “I take it that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, since now I don’t feel so bad about loving you back since you said it first,” Jared smiled but still felt a little shy at what to do. “I know we have to careful on set and stuff but…when it’s just us?”

“In public, on set, etc, then yeah…we still have to keep acting like we’ve always been,” Jensen didn’t like it but he knew it had to be. “When we’re alone? All bets are off and all things are good,” he remarked with a smile that went straight to Jared’s heart. “So do you want to talk this out more, see what’s on TV, go back to the party or…fool around?”

Jared took a couple seconds before slowly lifting his eyes up. “Fool around sounds better than making nice with the execs. Doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it definitely does,” Jensen agreed with a slow sexy smile that took Jared’s breath away before a slow hot kiss caught his mouth and the two actors brought in the New Year in a very special way.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Mistletoe and Countdowns**

**Chapter Two**

Over the next 12 months Jared found himself learning a great deal not only about Jensen and the new relationship they built but also himself.

On that night into New Year’s Day Jensen kept true to his word and all that did was fool around. They kissed, touched playfully and fell to sleep in each other’s arms in the big bed that Jared’s room came with.

On New Year’s Day, that ordered food up to the room, ignored calls and texts from their very curious producer, watched football, talked and ended up going a little further in the fooling around department than was planned but Jared didn’t mind it.

Once back in Vancouver they did meet with Eric to talk to him and once the man had stopped choking while begging them not to do this to him. Jensen assured him that they’d keep things between them low-key when in public…or at least how things had always been when in public since most of their fans seemed to think they were already a couple.

“Do you think he’ll stop rocking before he has that meeting this afternoon?” Jared asked as they walked back to Jensen’s trailer on set. “Maybe you should’ve dropped it on him a little easier?”

“I tried a half a dozen ways to say it but he wasn’t picking up on the clues I was dropping. Though I guess I could’ve phrased it better,” Jensen smirked while rolling his eyes as Jared dropped on the sofa in his trailer and immediately grabbed for the bag of candy that Jensen now kept there for him. “I just thought saying ‘I promise not to fuck Jared’s brains out in front of anyone’ would get his attention.”

“I thought he was going to choke and then I thought he was going to kill you,” Jared’s dimples were out in full force though as he looked up just as Jensen settled his lean body against him as he straddled his lap. “Do you plan to fill me in on when the whole ‘fucking Jared’s brains out’ might happen?” he asked curiously.

Since they expressed their mutual attraction and had slowly begun to explore other things Jensen had been careful to go slow and not push Jared for more than he thought the younger man would be ready to do. They had graduated up to hand jobs one night after a hard shoot and Jared had been tense so Jensen straddled him much like he was now and slowly stroked his cock until Jared came in his jeans. Then his boyfriend, Jared loved thinking that word, had stunned him when he’d stripped Jared out of his soiled jeans and proceeded to lick and suck him off in the younger man’s first experience with a blowjob.

Jared was a quick learner and always eager to try new things. He was also somewhat nervous that Jensen might get bored with him if they didn’t progress to actual sex faster but whenever he brought this up Jensen would simply smile and kiss him slowly while saying there was no hurry.

“You’ll be the first to know when it happens, babe,” Jensen remarked now to the question as he settled his lips over the hollow of Jared’s throat to lightly kiss him while making certain not to leave marks that couldn’t be explained to make-up. “Well, the second to know since I’ll be the first.”

Jared loved to see and hear Jensen when he teased him because it showed him a side of his friend that very few people actually got to see because normally Jensen was so serious and reserved in public while Jared was open and energized at all times.

It was when they were alone that he got to see the more relaxed and light hearted side of Jensen and it never failed to make Jared happy, especially if something he did brought out Jensen’s smile.

It took some practice but they managed to keep their hands off of one another when on set unless it was in the privacy of their trailers. They had always sat too close or bumped one another so the cast and crew never looked twice at that.

Aside from Eric, Jared thought maybe a few people suspected something had changed between them but no one had mentioned or brought anything up.

Jared was surprised that more didn’t feel different but he guessed because they lived together for so long and had become so close as friends that this step past friendship really didn’t do more than add another level of closeness to them.

They still bickered at times and they did still have the odd fight at home over stupid things but on set they were in sync like always. The only thing that might have increased was Jensen’s protective side toward Jared.

He’d always been protective but people had laughingly dismissed it as character carry over given that Dean was super protective of Sam. It was easy to dismiss the slight change in Jensen’s behavior as that as well until he about tore a set up as well as the prop and stunt coordinators the day he got back from a location shoot to find Jared tied to a table on a small side set.

They’d run the scene and lines the night before since it was not an easy scene for Jared and Jensen had not wanted to do his location shoot until after Jared’s was done so he’d be present for the shoot but the schedule was too tight that day to allow for it. He’d been reassured that nothing would go wrong. Well the moment he stepped back on set to find himself met by a pissed off Jim Beaver he’d known something had gone wrong.

“Eric got called away on sudden business and Guy didn’t make his connecting flight to be here for the shoot so Eric had to pull Paul in from…Jensen!” the gruff older man shouted as Jensen dropped his bag and bolted across the lot.

Out of all the directors or producers or other crew on set there had been very few that had ever given either star any real issues or problems except one. There was one guy that usually directed little scenes or minor things but was kept away from scenes that either star filmed after one incident in season two that had left Jared shaken and Jensen furious. Hearing that man’s name in regards to a scene that was emotionally draining and physically dangerous in some ways to Jared had Jensen already pissed off…then he got to the set and lost it.

The set was small, crowded since it was supposed to look like an old shack in some crazy old doctor’s lair. There were sharp objects, rusty things scattered all around but the worst part was the table and how the scene was supposed to go.

Jared had very little things he wouldn’t try to do himself but he did have a small issue with ropes or being restrained fully. The scene called for this crazy old, immortal old, doctor to have him strapped to a table with his eyes held open as he operated on him to remove organs.

It was agreed upon earlier that they’d only keep Jared in the restraints for short periods which would give him time to recover if he got too anxious and if things went too deep and Jared called for a break it would be given without question or delay. That was the agreement with Eric and the original director; a single fast look when he stepped onto the small soundstage told Jensen that someone either hadn’t passed that onto the new director or the asshole didn’t give a damn.

“I’m not filming one more second until you get that boy loose and give him a break!” their guest star, an established actor with years on screen, was in the face of the fuming director while pointing back to the table. “He asked for a break an hour ago and you refused. He’s not faking that panic attack and…I think you’re about to have more problems than a stalled scene,” he stepped back to offer a grim smile to a pissed off Jensen. “Hello, Mr. Ackles. I think you’ll have this under control now so I’ll go grab some coffee and alert your set physician to be waiting for someone.”

“You can tell him to find a body bag for this asshole if he opens his mouth to me,” Jensen growled but shoved past the director to rush onto the set where suddenly there was a flurry of activity. “No one wanted to step in before it got this bad so no one had better come close to him now!” he snapped, shooting a hard look around him before yelling over his shoulder. “Jim! Get Kripke on the phone, now! Jared? Hey, Jared!”

The scene had called for worn leather straps but now as he stepped closer to the table he saw more than what had originally been planned for. The one over Jared’s forehead had been expected but the one over his throat had not been and a single look told Jensen this scene had gone wrong a while ago.

Jared’s eyes were held open by little painful looking clamps that had to hurt but while he eyes were open Jensen saw only white and knew his friend must have passed out. “Jared!” he caught a pale, cold face between his palms to feel wetness and that was all Jensen needed to feel to know this scene was done.

“Shut up or I will hurt you,” Jensen snarled when he heard the director screaming at him to stop what he was doing. “Screw you! This scene is done and so are you when I get Kripke on the phone! When did he call it?” he shot this at the stunt director who’d been called to set and was now trying to help Jensen get a limp but shaking Jared free while also staying between Jensen and the director.

“The back-up AD said Jared asked to stop a couple hours ago but Paul refused and said it would add more realism to the scene if it looked like Jared was panicking,” the man winced as he saw the tore skin under one of the wrist straps while Jensen gently got the evil looking things away from his face to lightly close his friend’s eyes while whispering something only to Jared. “I guess Billy also wanted to stop because Jared wasn’t faking the panic when he couldn’t move and…he got cut a couple times I think.”

Jensen saw the shallow cuts on Jared’s chest and picked up a ‘prop’ scalpel to test it on his finger and felt it was sharper than it should’ve been. “This isn’t one of the set props. Find out who put it here and why,” he growled, whirling when a hand landed on his shoulder to jerk him around and he went with the pull to grab the throat of the man who stupidly touched him right then. “You do not want to do that right now. In fact, if you were smart you would get the hell away from me and from Jared because the second I get him to his trailer or someplace safe I will probably be coming for you.”

“You have no right to cut my scene, Ackles!” Paul snapped, furious that this pompous actor thought he could shut his scene down. “You’re not in this one and Padalecki is an actor! He needs to handle stuff that he doesn’t like! Mr. Kripke trusted me to…”

“What the fuck is going on?” the enraged voice of the show’s creator and executive producer came from the door. “Holy shit! Is Jared passed out? Why is he passed out? What the hell is with the extra straps and did he ask to stop?”

Jensen shot the director a smirk while turning back to grab a limp arm as he felt Jared start to move but wanted him off of the set. “C’mon, Jared. Let’s get you back to the trailer or the medic and…Eric! He’s done for the day. You can thank the asshole there for pushing the shoot back because I’m not letting Jared film anymore and I bet a call to his agent will have her agreeing with me.”

“Go, just get him to his trailer or your trailer or have Clif drive you home,” Eric fought back a groan of frustration but then shot the ranting and whining director a hard look. “I talked to you about this scene. I told you not to film more than 30 minutes or less at a time so long as Jared was strapped down so he could have a break. What part of that didn’t you get and who the hell said to add more straps or…where the hell did that prop come from and….”

Jensen left the man to shout and yell as he worked to get his co-star away from the soundstage and back to one of their trailers. He snarled at anyone who came close to them except for Jim and Clif who he finally let help him get Jared into Jensen’s trailer.

“The Doc’s on his way over here,” Jim remarked as he stepped back to allow Jensen to kneel beside the sofa where he’d placed Jared as he slowly started to come around. “You need anything else for him?”

“No, as soon as they say he’s just passed out and these cuts aren’t bad I’ll have Clif drive us home for the weekend,” Jensen replied tersely, not looking over to see the older man exchange nods with Clif who was now standing in the doorway.

Jared woke up slowly with an aching head, a twisting stomach and pain on his chest and wrists. He recalled the scene; he recalled needing a break when things got too tight and close but the director ignoring him. He thought he might have passed out and started to tense subtly to see if he was still strapped down but even as he did he almost knew his surroundings had changed.

The air felt different and the odors were more familiar than the damp wood of the set he’d been on. Then he felt someone touch him and knew where he was and who was with him.

“So? Can I take him home? Does he need stitches? Why isn’t he waking up? And…can I go toss that asshole into a sinkhole or someplace where I’ll never have to see him again?”

Jensen’s voice was close by but the worry was plain as well as the underlying anger which told Jared his boyfriend and co-star must have gotten back to see the set and him. Jared wasn’t sure who he might be talking to since he wasn’t shouting so that meant whoever it was hadn’t ticked his friend off yet.

“Yes, you can take him home,” the calm voice of their studio medic replied from further away. “No, those cuts didn’t require stitches and from what I was told he hyperventilated a good bit so it might take Jared a bit before he wakes up. As for that last one, I think Eric’s taking care of that one. Just take Jared home and get some sleep yourself.”

Jensen started to snort when a soft sound had his eyes whipping down to see long lashes fluttering and he let out a sigh of relief. “Jared? Hey, you waking up for me?”

“Hmmm,” Jared mumbled, working to get his eyes open to see he was in Jensen’s trailer rather than his own to see worried green eyes watching him. “Hey,” he murmured and then winced as he tried to sit up and saw the bandages on his wrists and the few on his chest. He reached to touch his throat where it hurt but strong fingers caught his before he could. “Did I get it filmed?”

“No, but Eric’s cutting you loose for the weekend and Guy will film it right on Monday and I’ll be able to be on set then too so don’t worry about it,” Jensen had talked with Eric and had been reassured that he could use a few shots taken today but there needed to be a few pickups as well as the finishing scenes. “You’re fine, Jay. You did all you could and now we’re going home. We’ll call out for take-out and play video games all weekend if you want.”

“I think I’d rather play with you,” Jared muttered, still tired and sore so he wasn’t thinking clearly as what was in his head popped out of his mouth before Jensen was expecting it.

A choking cough was heard from where Clif was outside the door. Then a bang was heard before he shouted that he was going for the car and for them to be ready to go when he blew the horn.

“We’ll see how you feel tomorrow and maybe we will play a little,” Jensen shot a glance to the door before tipping Jared’s still pale face up to place a soft kiss over his lips, feeling them curve in a smile. “It scared me to see you like that today, Jay,” he whispered into the kiss.

The nicknames were something used between them and only when they were alone. It also reassured Jared that things were okay and he must not be hurt too bad even though he felt weak and off balance when he stood.

Jensen had told Clif to grab a shirt so Jared would be able to have something to wear since it had gotten dark and was chilly out. He kept his grip tight in case Jared went to fall but was glad that the younger man was able to make it out of the trailer and into the SUV without too much help.

It was plain that Jared was exhausted but he managed to stay awake until they were home. He wasn’t sure exactly how he got up the steps or even which bedroom he made it to but he knew he fell face first onto a bed and that was it.

The next time Jared’s eyes opened he saw blue sky out the window but knew as he was starting to roll over that he didn’t think he’d hit his room which meant he’d owe Jensen a huge apology.

“I think we need to flip a coin and get a bigger bed for the room that wins the toss or just get bigger beds for both rooms.”

Jensen’s voice was dry and amused as it spoke from beside him and Jared lifted his head to see that not only had he fallen to sleep in Jensen’s bed but somehow during the night he’d managed to get his arms and legs tangled with Jensen’s and that’s how he woke up now.

“Ummm,” he tried to find something clever to say and hoped he wasn’t blushing too much when it also hit Jared where his one knee was.

“I will admit that sleeping with you will be an experience considering you move constantly and I swear you’re part octopus,” Jensen chuckled but was quick to roll Jared onto his back and lean over him to keep him there when he saw him frown a little. “I didn’t say either of those things were bad, Jay. I just haven’t shared my bed in a long time so it might take me time to adjust to it but…I like waking up to you sprawled over me,” he began to place slow kisses along Jared’s jaw and down to the hollow of his throat. “How do you feel?”

“A little tired and my wrists are sore but I feel okay,” Jared told him, blinking the rest of the sleep out of his eyes as Jensen’s knee slipped between his legs. “Umm, if we sleep together more will this be my standard good morning?” he asked lowly, deciding he wasn’t interested in the breakfast he had been thinking about now as he felt warm lips sliding down his chest. “Jen, I need to brush my teeth before you kiss me again.”

Jensen paused to consider that and then also must have thought that Jared was probably hungry. “Okay, you go do that and I’ll make a quick breakfast and let the dogs out,” he kissed Jared again before he could move while chuckling. “Love you.”

Hearing those words from Jensen always made him smile back and Jared hoped that would never change. He brushed his teeth, splashed water on his face to see the bruises on his neck and head from the straps and felt how sore his eyes were from being held open for so long.

He shivered at the thought of having to refilm that scene but knew it would be smoother with a director he trusted and if Jensen was on set as well.

Jared changed into looser, more at home type of clothes before heading for the kitchen to the smell of coffee and Jensen’s laughter as he played with Harley and Sadie.

He paused in the door to watch his friend kneel down to try to pour dog food into the bowls only to get nudged over by Sadie and then pounced on by Harley until he was laughingly admitting defeat.

“I love you,” Jared said suddenly even though that wasn’t what he planned to say but seeing Jensen so at ease with the dogs when other people would have grumbled or fussed at them made Jared love him all the more.

Jensen’s eyes were light as he glanced up with the smile that made Jared’s heart jump. “Help me up before breakfast burns,” he rolled to his feet as the dogs made a beeline for Jared.

They ate breakfast while talking about Jensen’s day on location and finally Jared told him of how things started going wrong until he finally blacked out.

“Is Eric pissed that I messed up?” he asked while rinsing his plate off.

“You didn’t mess up and it isn’t you that Eric’s pissed at,” Jensen told him as he stepped up behind Jared to turn him around and gently take his one hand in his to hold up the still bandaged wrist. “It’s the asshole that had them put those straps on you tight enough that when he felt the need to fight they cut you bad enough to bleed. And I have it on good authority and a text from Eric that he fired Paul and he hopes you’re okay today. I didn’t send the text back that I almost did,” he muttered, still obviously upset. “Are you okay, Jared?”

“I will be by Monday,” Jared replied, looking down to see his fingers meshing with Jensen’s as he was tugged out of the kitchen. “So…do you have plans for today?” he asked quietly, hoping he didn’t sound as eager as he thought he did when he realized where Jensen was heading.

“Yeah, I actually have plans for us today, tonight, tomorrow and if you feel up to it…tomorrow night,” Jensen smiled with the smile that was pure sex and sin as he pulled Jared into his room again while lifting his eyebrow curiously. “Unless you have something else you’d rather do?”

Jared shook his head and laughed as his back hit the bed. “I don’t know what I’m doing though so…maybe I should’ve read up on this?” he blushed at this admission since his only exposure to gay sex was some porn he’d watched in high school.

“I’ll talk you through it, Jay,” Jensen promised as he pulled his shirt over his head but left his jeans on for the moment as he knelt on the bed to gaze into deep hazel eyes. “We don’t do anything you’re not ready for. If you don’t understand something or need to stop just tell me and I promise I will stop. Okay?”

Nodding, Jared pushed himself back on the bed until he hit the pillow, lifting his hips to help in the removal of his sweats and briefs and tried not to blush as he watched Jensen’s eyes darken and heat as he slid that gaze over his body.

“Remember what I said in that interview when I was told who’d be playing my brother?” he asked while leaning up to teasingly kiss Jared’s lips. “Jared, you are beyond hot.”

“I am not,” Jared muttered and knew he was blushing now because he always did whenever Jensen called him hot; lips parting on a sigh as Jensen kissed him deeply but slowly and he relaxed as their tongues played while Jensen’s hands touched him.

For a long while that’s all they did. Jared had learned early on in their relationship that he enjoyed the feel of Jensen’s hands on him; he enjoyed the slow attention he seemed to pay to each part of his body either with his hands or mouth.

Right then though on that day Jared found his patience wasn’t high as his body reacted to the different kind of touches. “Jen!”

“Impatient much, Jay?” Jensen chuckled from where he’d just been slowly kissing over Jared’s stomach, feeling the quivering muscles as he used his fingertips to tease and feather over the slowly hardening cock that was dripping precome.

“I’m trying not to be but…” Jared groaned as he felt Jensen urge him to his stomach and then his knees as pillows were pushed under to help make the position a bit more comfortable. “I’ll learn to be more patient when we…Jen!”

Teeth gently nipped his earlobe before moving down his neck. “I like it when you’re bossy like this,” he murmured. “I knew going in that you weren’t going to be a passive lover, Jared. I knew it and I love being able to share this with you,” he gently kissed Jared’s neck while reaching into the drawer beside the bed. “I love you.”

Just hearing those words in that tone seemed to help Jared rein in his impatience until he realized that if he thought Jensen moved slowly before in what they had done he had no idea how slow the man could go when he began to slowly and carefully open Jared.

By watching those porn films the younger man had a basic idea to what was happening. He knew which part went where even if he couldn’t exactly see it happening but the first feel of cool lube and then a single finger rubbing along the rim before finally slipping inside had him moaning and squirming until a hand on his hip and soft kisses along his shoulders urged him to calm down and experience what was happening.

Jensen hadn’t done this with a guy in a long time but he had more experience than Jared so he knew he needed to go slow this first time. He just wasn’t expecting how Jared’s reactions to just his fingers affected him and by the time they’d gotten to where he could move three fingers in and out Jared easily he was fighting for control.

The last few times Jensen had sex with a guy the man had known what to do and didn’t need coaxing. In fact, a few of Jensen’s partners had been a bit too toppy for his tastes given that he hadn’t bottomed since his first time with a guy and he discovered that bottoming was not his style; though he did think he might like to try it with Jared one time down the road.

Right then he was just trying to get them both through this time and hoping he didn’t come the moment he entered his new and very eager lover’s ass.

“Jay? I need you to focus on me a second,” Jensen laughed as he was shot one hell of a bitch face at that comment. “I know I’m clean and since this is your first time I know you are but I need to know if you want me to wear a condom,” he cursed himself for not asking sooner since he hadn’t considered that and knew that some people preferred it while others wouldn’t care; he just wasn’t sure if Jared would know the difference and didn’t want to ruin this for him. “Jared?”

“No, don’t want that,” Jared’s brain was basically mush by this point but he was with it enough to hear and understand the question. He knew what Jensen was asking and he also knew what he wanted. “I want to feel you, Jen,” he twisted enough so he could look over his shoulder to see dark green eyes staring back at him with lust and desire. “Please. I just want to feel all of you and be able to feel you when you come.”

Jensen had to work damn hard not to come like a teenager right then. No one in all his life had ever looked at him like Jared was right then. He couldn’t talk past the lump in his throat right then so he nodded while moving back long enough to shed his jeans and boxer briefs and bit the inside of his mouth to keep from smiling as he heard Jared’s muttered words.

“I’ll go slow, babe,” he promised while slicking his already engorged and slick cock up with lube to ensure a smooth entrance. “It might still hurt but only for a bit. Tell me if it gets to be too much?”

“Yeah,” Jared managed to nod as he tried to watch Jensen and also not show his brief burst of worry that this was going to hurt more than when he broke his arm as a kid.

Jensen seemed to sense his fear however as he leaned up closer to kiss him slowly while easing the head of his cock into the stretched hole, giving a gentle nudge as he deepened the kiss slowly. “Shh, just try to relax for me, Jared,” he murmured into the kiss, body shaking against the urge to shove his cock in faster but unwilling to hurt his lover.

Jared lost himself in the kiss as well as the odd feelings as he felt his ass actually stretching to allow for the thick and hard cock; gasping as he felt something seem to give and the stretch and burn slowly eased up into something else. “Jensen?”

“Fuck, you are still so tight,” Jensen was fighting for control as well as trying to keep Jared calm and see if he was in too much pain. “Jay, tell me if this is too much and I’ll stop for…”

“I will never kiss you again or for a week if you try to stop this now,” Jared shot back, hand reaching out to try to grasp onto Jensen only to go still when an arm slipped around his chest; being careful of the few covered cuts. “Jensen, I’m not a damn piece of glass.”

“No, you’re not,” Jensen agreed, letting his chest rest against Jared’s back to give them both a moment to catch their breaths; lips sliding over the base of his neck to lock on and begin to mouth the knob of bone there and heard a moan of pleasure. “You’re just the man I love. You’re just my best friend and someone I would die for.”

Jared’s eyes burned but he didn’t bother hiding the tears as he leaned his head back to find and return the kiss, feeling Jensen’s hips begin to move again and after what seemed like forever he felt them come flush a second before something lit up inside him and it took all Jared hard not to come right then. “What…what was that?” he asked on a moan, pleasure filling him as that feeling hit again as Jensen found a pattern to move in.

“That was my cock hitting your prostate,” Jensen loved seeing the openness on Jared’s face as he felt so many new and unexpected feelings now. “Just wait. It’ll get better.”

“Huh? Better than what? This?” Jared figured if his mind wasn’t blown already that it would be soon. He cried out Jensen’s name when the arm that held him suddenly pulled him back so he was more on his knees and now with every move either of them made it caused a reaction inside him. “Jen…please…need to…gotta come.”

Jensen understood that feeling only too well and since he planned to keep Jared in bed for most of the weekend he figured he’d drawn this out for as long as either of them could stand. Seeing that Jared had reached out to steady them with one hand he took his other hand in his to move it down to his dripping cock to wrap their fingers around it. “Show me how you like to be touched, Jay,” he whispered against his ear even though he’d figured out the way Jared enjoyed being stroked off months ago; he enjoyed the moan it got him now. “Come when you want to.”

Jared wanted to try and wait until Jensen had climaxed but the feel on his prostate, the feel of their combined fingers stroking him from base to tip while teeth gently teased over the skin of his neck he knew he was lost. So when a fingernail raked over the slit of his cock he was lost and came with a ragged shout. “Jensen!”

Jensen closed his eyes as he kissed Jared’s neck, hiding the burning in his own eyes for the moment as the emotions hit him as he watched Jared’s orgasm hit him fully; fingers continuing to stroke his cock to help draw the moment out for as long as possible. “Love you,” he whispered softly, voice raw and shaking.

He felt Jared’s inner muscles suddenly clamp down on his cock as it still moved inside him to hit his prostate and Jensen let himself fall over the edge with his boyfriend; climax rocking him a lot more than he thought it would.

Jensen worked through his own while murmuring softly against Jared’s skin to talk him through the final seconds of his until he caught a flash of white a second before he felt Jared go fully limp against him and was quick to adjust both his grip and the weight to support them while carefully easing them down to the bed.

Jared mumbled something sleepily that Jensen half caught and laughed softly, kissing his face while his body cooled after his climax finally slowed down. “Yeah, Jay, I plan to do that a lot more. Sleep now,” he urged softly.

He stayed still for a moment longer before slowly and carefully easing out of Jared; he heard a soft mutter of complaint but Jensen was quick to soothe his lover with soft kisses and whispered reassurances that he was just getting something to clean them off with.

By the time Jensen had done that and had gotten them both back in sweats to sleep in he felt eyes watching him and met the eager mouth that opened under his. “Hmm, I definitely think I can get used to waking up with you like this, Jay,” he teased, lying beside him to allow Jared to curl into his arms as he was quickly coming to understand his friend like to do when he slept.

“We…I mean…you…was it…was I…?” Jared’s brain was just coming back online so he wasn’t alert and knew he wasn’t making sense when he moaned into the kiss Jensen offered, glad that they seemed to still be able to understand one another even in bed.

“Yes, we did and yes, you were terrific,” Jensen’s lips curved into a slow soft smile; the smile that very few people ever got to see him use. “Did you enjoy it?” he asked while carding his fingers back through Jared’s hair.

“Yes,” Jared’s smile was shy now, his body sleepy from sex and from the force of his climax. “Do you think we can do that again today?” he asked then laughed as fingers dug into his side where Jensen knew he was ticklish. “Jen!”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I had plans for the weekend, Jared,” Jensen returned with a smile, settling as he watched heavy eyes blink. “You can sleep, Jay. We have all the time in the world to make love…and we are buying a new bed because this one is not going to be big enough for the things I plan to do with you.”

That gave Jared all sorts of ideas but right then he followed Jensen’s advice and rested his head over Jensen’s chest, fingers curling over the hand that reached for his. “Love you, Jensen,” he murmured.

“Love you, Jared,” Jensen smiled as he watched Jared sleep. As he drifted off slowly he thought back to a kiss under the mistletoe and decided he was sticking that stuff up in every doorway in the house…as well as his mother’s house and their trailers.

When the next Christmas season rolled around, Jared had a hard time keeping a straight face when on set and a new spring of mistletoe seemed to show up every day while Jensen just looked on innocently while his co-star laughed and Clif growled about teenagers with hormones.

**The End**


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